An experience

5 days ago I got myself into one of those dating groups on FB, just for the sake of curiosity. and right after it a girl added me on her fb. We talked a bit, she seems to be nice, obscure at the same time. From her display picture, she looks cute and everything, although I had a fishy feeling about her. I got interested for a bit when I felt she is a bit classy and from her looks, I won't lie on that. After a few convos I felt like I might ask her out to know her better, then suddenly I found out she removed me from her friend list and she appeared offline suddenly on my msn (which means of course that she blocked me) From my little experience I became more unaware how girls think, and what they want. I was easy with her, on the contrary to her ways she was dealing with me, but anyways I was wrong from the beginning to let my feelings to someone I hardly knew. but anyways we're learning aren't we? :D

I don't want to be my father..

I sound cruel, but I don't want to be him! I meant to have a different path than his, he always talk about how young he was when he got married, and how perfect it is to be in this country. He was the main reason I moved to the gulf peninsula, although I already lived here in my childhood, and I never kept a single happy memory of it. It's just like my parents wants me to repeat what they've been through, they think I'm luckier than they are, because they have the past experience and knowledge. They think being here is the best for me!! but still I feel irritated, at moments I feel happy about, and then for another I feel confuzled and dissatisfied. I feel like I'm caged and I can't take my own decisions. When my father is not around I feel more free, I can do whatever I want. I don't do wrong, but simply I have the power of will. I don't want to be my father, I just want to be me!!

If you're sad...

Just listen to this song, it makes me happy :)




(from Charlie the unicorn)

A loss!!

What is the biggest thing you ever lost in your life?? This lost thing could be anything; a person, maybe something you posses, a memory, a status, a job, etc.. No matter what you loose, of course according to the importance of the thing we're taking about, we always feel pain. The first time ever I felt losing a person in my life, and losing that person is like forever was when my grandmother passed away in 2007, it was hard, at the same time I know this loss is irreversible. I really loved my grandma with all her bad memories my mom use to tell me about her, and her beautiful fun stories and travels she had with my grandfather. I never met my grandfather, she was the only way I knew him along with the photos, made a memory inside my head about this great man. The perfect man though, I couldn't find a single mistake my grandfather did, of course only the good memories has been kept by my grandma.

I've lost many things through out my life. I remember when I was in 3rd grade I lost my expensive casio watch, I felt sad for some time I guess, can't remember now, but I assume I did, cuz I still remember that I lost a watch at this age until now! Last year I lost my ipod classic in a church camp. For a moment I felt like it was a test from God, and of course I dealt with it in a total negativity, I even asked people around me to stop looking and I even refused to take money from the camp leader at that time, but after wards I had inner rage, and I even stopped trusting anyone even if that person is religious.

We all love to possess things and those things become part of us. People, things, cars, antiques, dogs, etc... But we should bare in mind, that things come and go, even moments of happiness, sadness. We loose things, and gain other things. We raise kids, spend on them a fortune, then they decide to leave us. Nothing in this world is stone built, even the stone losses its importance when it changes shape..

For the first time in my life..

I had an open heart discussion with someone who I had doubt many times, and the more I talk to that person, the more I find myself getting more attached to her, and my doubts fallen apart, the picture is still not clear enough, it could be what they call, soul mate?? I'm very close to making my biggest step in my life.. I'm way very close to it.. very!!

LIFE: the meanings

Life isn't food in your stomach
life isn't beer in your belly
life isn't your rate of inhalation
life isn't how much you're in love with cherries
life isn't your touch pad iphone
life isn't the games you keep playing on
life isn't how comfy is your jeans
or how soft is your shoes
life isn't a ride and hot chick inside
life isn't how tall are you
or how handsome you are
life isn't about immortality
life isn't about your mentality
or your closeness and spirituality
life isn't of whom you believe in
or potentiality
life isn't about who is winning
and who lost his sanity

so what is life if it's not all of the above?
Can someone define it? did someone said love?
or maybe a happy life can be measured in monetary values?
damn the money! what's the point of it, if you lost your sinews

Life is goals, dreams and emotions
life could be devotion to something
or you could be lost in everything!

fidoarrows
11/10/10

Self heart breaking

Have you ever heard that expression? being heartbroken but with your own hands. It's just you let yourself go on something which was never meant to be, or could ever be imagined, that's just me. I find myself liking someone that I know it's just so wrong, ending up brokenhearted, or more like self- brokenhearted as the other would never think for a minute of such thing, I'm going insane!!

I wish

I could have magnifying goggle so that I could read all woman's brains :D

Try me!

Why don't people who has no knowledge (aka retards) listen to the real professionals in the arab world?? A question I always ask myself whenever some dude pops out and tries to show his "powerful" science techniques to me. People would rather listen to friend or someone who tried that before rather than listening to professionals. There is a common proverb in egypt that says " Ask someone who tried not a doctor" totally ridiculous !! then people would come over later complain about their stupid consequences

Ramadan is over

The month of Ramadan is over, and I'm going back to my normal routine. Things will just get as it was to be, and I will stop pretending -not to eat- in front of everyone, and of course from the fear of being "OVER BASHED" or "OVER CRITICIZED" by even a look, or even get arrested for eating.. damn in the sun light, "like WOW who could ever do that? lets just beat that motha *peep*, we'll get more "GOLD POINTS" from god for such a good deed".. sheesh! O.o

The real meaning of forgiveness

Forgiveness!! Such a big word! Such a hard word too! Humans taught each other not to forgive, playing recorders, Video recorders, paper to note things on, or just simply OUR brains is just some tools of KEEPING the memories including the bad ones. We intend to forgive on the outer side, but our brains keeps struggling, keeps on stirring this memory. The constant thought of revenge or waiting for a "bad" moment for that person who harmed you to fall or get hurt is always in your mind, even thinking of "God Revenge" or "divine revenge" as we call. God never hurts no one. It's just "US" who manage to "self destruct" ourselves..

The Church controversy

I've read a lot of news reports blabbering about the "request" of the pope of Vatican to Saudi arabia king to build a "Church" in Mecca, and of course there was a dismay about the news from Muslims on how such thing could be asked about. and then Muslims came up and say if we do, would you build a "Mosque" in the Vatican? The request from the first place is irrelevant, as there is NO Christians in mecca, even if, no one would go there for Church. There will be hostility from the locals would arise from such thing on non-muslim communities, as lots of locals would think it's political pressure from the west, hence vandalizing such property. besides do we Christians need a church in Saudi Arabia? like a priest and service and all the stuff? Technically we can make up a church, the church is within ourselves. Being away from Church would give you a chance to improve your spiritual self.

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. -Matthew 18:20-

being away

Being away from home, away from your interests, away from your beliefs is a good opportunity to value yourself as a human being. When everything around you is the way it is, the possibility of struggle is minimal, but when you're in a place everything around is so different, you would think of survival, coexistence, going against the tide, protecting your beliefs, talk less, avoid dramas, etc.. Your goal here would be more clear, as you will not be living in this place forever. Being away from all your pleasures and life is a key to understand life through the self.

thought of the day

If life is unfair to everyone, so who's the villain

I feel like:

My future is "Zealacious" I'm optimistic

حكمة اليوم

الى سرق لوحة زهرة الخشخاش بتاعت فان جوخ اكيد كان واحد خرمان و كان نفسة فى قرش حشيش , عشان بيقال ان الحشيش ناقص فى السوق هعهعهع

http://arabic.cnn.com/2010/entertainment/8/22/cairo.stolen/index.html

The conflict in our minds

Since when we ought to live in a fair world?? People just keep on asking me to reconsider of not coming back home "Don't end your outer journey, your quest for happiness" this is what they think of. The QUEST of happiness to many is MONEY, not even affording food, but living a luxury. It's ok to think of that, it's human nature to satisfy their eyes, their taste, their senses. Each one of us have a way for such satisfaction. BUT the problem is the conflict with other human minds. those second thoughts that pull you away from your aim. a RIGHT opinion just because the WHOLE community sees that as logic which should be done. Risks is always beyond the logic " A bird in hand is better than 10 on the bushes" we are satisfied with that "single" bird in our hands, we should be thankful, we should be happy with it. Don't ever try to let go that bird in your hands and aim for the other 10 birds on the bushes. It's a RISK! you might loose everything. Just until someone finds a way to grab the WHOLE 10 birds, others just grab 2, in another technique someone caught 5 of them, another one, caught nothing, but I'm sure he learned something rather than that person who is just sitting over there holding that bird with both hands and would never let it go..

Hey Sadeek! (my friend)

"Sadeek" which literally means " my friend" is a very common word used to call asian workers from Bangladesh, Pakistan or India. Such a word sounds normal to many, "hey sadeek give me that" " hey sadeek can I order bal bla" etc.. But just because it's used to call those asian nationalities, it's not a good idea to call an arab "sadeek" especially saudis, although it means " Friend" as they feel insulted they have been compared by those "cheap" "messy" and "scum" workers!! "my Friend" sounds to them as an "unfriendly" way to speak to someone as if I degraded their ego! Such a sick community!

16-8-2010

Why life could be misery if it can be fun! We create the misery and live in it by restricting our brains to do specific tasks. We hurdle behind social routines and customary stuff, and we tend to forget or maybe ignore our dream; our aim of life.

Life is a transitional place between the moment we get in contact with life for the first time and the afterlife. We have to take into account our eternity; our afterlife. While living, still we are not intended to lock ourselves in a cage in order to gain eternity. The purpose of life is to live different experiences and situations in order to become more aware of it, our after life.

Follow life as it is, but while you're doing so, remember you will pass through many various roads, with experience and guidelines of the right people, you will find the right way!

my future written..as I wish

I'm 36 yrs old, I'm your future as you would like to have. I'm a successful e-marketing sole propeteir, I even worked in the stoke exchange ( I have my license as a broker, but I just broke for fun) I love music, so I'm doing some underground projects with some local bands, I play the trumpet. Don't know how long it took me to learn it, but I feel like I've been playing it for ages. I play it with lots of talented underground bands, just for the sake of it. LOVE, I had several short relationships, I tried to maintain it as long as possible, but due to my nature of resisting change I failed to keep most of them. I tried to compromise, yet my stubborn nature and my phlegmatic nature is to strong. I like reading, esp during my travels. I already been to most of the world. I manage to maintain my business through internet and phones, so I have the time for that. I learn everything everyday.. my laziness doesn't prevent me from finishing my tasks, I know what to do, and I do it well. My parents are disappointed from me cuz of my vivid life, but they are proud and show off to people on how I can make money efficiently. I'm lucky with everything, except with love. I content with my life. I like to keep it simple as much as possible although I afford most luxurious goodies. I'm close to God, he's still my friend, and I talk to him from time to time. By the time you're reading this you would know that I'm the future of that person I'm writing about.. I'm the dream I want, even if the picture is not so perfect, I still hope for life to be that way, even if I could give up love for a successful career in 10 yrs time...

I'm in a world of shit!

"We are in a world of shit" While I was watching Stanley Kubrick's "Full metal jacket" this line just reminded me of my situation right here! The Hippocratic world I'm living in, the uni cultural, sexist community that claims they treat everyone equal. The grand servants of truth! The founders of true values! The protectors of women! so many claims, but when you come here in reality you will find out how they are really like. I'm in a world of shit, but I chose to be in it, so I will have to concur my believes, stick to them, just until I leave.. and YES! I have to leave..

A QUESTION

I've been melancholic these days so excuse me for being dark and spooky. Anyways I just had this thought while I was at work lets say if you have 100k in your bank account and you found out you have cancer at the same time those 100k would be enough for you to travel the whole world so would you spend them on your cancer therapy and BTW there is no guarantee you will be be fully cured OR would you spend them to travel the whole world?

Your decision will be mainly depends on your view of life, is longevity or quality? Is life about living long without taking risks, or adventure? or living on the edge, learning something new everyday and enjoying it as if there is no tomorrow? YOU DECIDE..

late night thought

I should stop being down if someone told me crappy shit regarding anything, I don't know why I easily get dragged into this, even from some random person I meet, if he alters my mood, I get so depressed and stressed the rest of the day. I wish I could know how to handle this. I'm already stuck here, and it's already a pain in the ass, so I have to tolerate with minor "pain in the ass" issues, there is nothing worth all this worries and sadness!!

my sinews bitching on me

I've been going to the gym lately, I've done that quite before, but since my graduation I just went occasionally and irregularly. after 5 times I might say that the will is forcing me to go, but still I have a lot of work to do. My muscles seems to be very week, and it's like striving with the weights. My food pattern is still blown up. I don't eat healthy and I eat mostly out, but my willpower is just letting me do it! I should just do it! just one of my dear friends told me! I'm week but I will be strong enough I need to move that huge stone inside of me!

The self needs you!

Life is just a set of longing and objectives, and it keeps on coming. Many have realised that after so many years they never lived, got dragged into work, kids, family, bills, etc.. and never gave a chance for the self to live for what pleases it, They never gave a chance for God's voice to be heard. The so called "responsibilities" kept on coming and coming, and with more "work" to do, there is no chance to be with yourself. You get more worried about the future, as tension prolongs, your body starts to tire up, High Blood pressure, Diabetes, arthritis, etc.. Making it more worse with all the worries and responsibilities, the BURDEN of health joins the long list of burdens you carry throughout your "important" tasks you're longing for. Your daily tasks turn into boring repetitive routine, your aim of life becomes lost in this HUGE circle of obligations which became part of your life. And the self becomes more like a heart pumping and a breath exhaling and inhaling. The self lost it's integrity. It becomes part of our material world which can be sold to the highest bidder ( we call it salary or wage or whatever) " Time is money" as they say, but for sure you can get money from your time, but cannot buy your time back with this money..

Lets give a chance for God to arrange our duties, lets give a chance for the self to enjoy life. Throw this huge backpack stashed with all this worthless stuff and be free for a moment of truth.

Drugs consumption in the Middle east

I just came through this article today in CNN news, which discuses drug consumption in the Middle east. And what really surprised me was the huge consumption of Amphetamines in Saudi Arabia

"The World Drug Report 2010, published by the UNODC, shows Saudi authorities confiscated 12.8 metric tons of amphetamine in 2008. A total of 24.3 metric tons of amphetamine were seized worldwide that year, with 15.3 metric tons seized in the wider Middle East."

I Know there is a drug problem here in Saudi Arabia, and due to my position as a Pharmacist, I can tell. There is a lot of OTC meds and cough syrups which been abused by workers (foreigners and Saudis as well) Meds containing "codeine" like "solpadeine" and "fevadol plus" are the most common. Dextromethorpan tabs and syrups. H1 anti histamines, etc.. All can be easily available from pharmacies, and of course it all depends on the pharmacist evaluation, whether that person is misusing the meds or not. I know there is a drug problem in Saudi especially that it's more commonly known that Pakistanis are the most "blacklisted" nationality in the kingdom who smuggles drugs in Saudi Arabia. The other day my assistant (who is Indian btw haha) told me last time we waited for over 2 hrs because there is plane coming from Pakistan before them and they where accurately checking it because of the drug smuggling problem

I guess the raising drug problem - which by the way is equally worse in Egypt- is due to political suppression in the area, people want to be tranquil, they want their brains to be totally isolated from the painful political and economical chaos their nations going through. Beside that I'll mention in particular why many foreign workers in Saudi abuse or misuse meds that because the high pressure they are facing in this country, especially the unfair work rules and the sponsorship system here in Saudi Arabia, which I need to go deeply into it in a separate blog. Sexual frustration due to the hard customarily laws here which avoids mixing of both sexes is one of the huge factors too. I guess the middle eastern community should fix the roots of the problem which of course they won't cuz the problem is already known, but yet even our governments chose to be isolated and tranquil from the people themselves, leading that both governments and people being separated by a huge gap delusion, but the difference is that one intentionally chose to be, and the other has no choice!

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/meast/07/23/middle.east.drugs.amphetamine/index.html#fbid=KZqhpOLda6H&mtag=soc_fb

The National democratic party new slogan

Translation ( not literally): We will screw YOU up
The National democratic party; a new approach to screw you and your family too!



The national Democratic party in Egypt has been the ruling party before I was even born, in the 80's and the 90's 99'9% was always the NATURAL election result in any political stanza, either Presidential elections, parliamentary elections, etc.. . Whoever is part of this party should win and always win. just until the 21st century things changed a "little" in terms of numbers and in terms of new faces in the parliament. Can you imagine a country like Egypt had it's first "real" presidential election only in 2005? Of course it wasn't 99.9% as usual, yet still Mubarak managed to stay for another 5 years. Although all his presidential candidates all got "BAD LUCK"after the elections, as if god was punishing them for just "thinking" of confronting "Al-Mubarak" . The National Democratic party has been active through releasing lame "propaganda's" through different mass media, fliers, etc.. and some cheesy dude made up the one above to make fun of their "MODERN APPROACH" MY ASS!!

CHANGE: A major Pain in the Ass issue

CHANGE has been the most thought up issue I was thinking of, not from a very short time. I tried several times to change, but yet nothing really happens, I strive with my bad habits, quit them for some time, then give up on quitting. I tried to introduce good habits to replace my bad ones, I temporarily change for a bit then SWITCH back to my old misery. I blame others for not changing, sometimes myself. I guess dealing with change is part of my Phlegmatic character of mine, or maybe it has something to do with my zodiac sign "Taurus". Here I go again I'm putting some nonsense to not to change! Well I have to! MY WILL WILL DECIDE!

A diabolical issue in your 20's: marriage

Well I'm not against marriage on the contrary I'm pro marriage with all my heart. But marriage at the right time is what is very important. I grew up in a upper middle class family, with a good reputation and good family ties. My father got married when he was younger than me now, although they where not well off at that time, but the good family background and sort of things helped them out. So imagine I'm older by a year than m father when he got married, I'm quite well off (not much really, but yeah fair enough to start a family) and - for my parents point of view- has nothing missing in my life to start a family. It's just like that! you got the money, you got the car, and the house so do it! I'm totally against that idea, although I'm not completely going to refuse it all the way, but I feel like I already have ambitions, dreams! things to fulfill. besides the most important part is, I haven't met "the one" which willing to share her life with me. So if it is all about arranged marriage then why don't I wait for some other time, the longer I waited, the more better off I will. That in case of arranged marriage. Besides I still have high hopes on "true love" or what so called "soul mate" It's not impossible, but all it needs is patience!

Andy Kaufman - man on the moon-

Could be one of the most interesting characters I ever heard of. His life been a huge theater, doing those weird acts of his, which is either Brilliant to some people or totally "stupid" to others. weather you like him or not -dying at the age of 35- Andy Kaufman left to much "controversies" and created a new type of art which many after him followed!



for more about andy kaufman: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Kaufman

About me..

I might be the weirdest person you could ever meet, or I might be just ordinary to you! I could be the most boring in the entire universe or the most fun and lawful friend you could ever had! I'm very loyal, I don't like trouble. I hate facing trouble, I would just walk away even if I'm right. I'm very spiritual but not very religious, I would like to be one day though! but I'd rather be a true believer and a true religious person rather than faking things up.. I'm just Fady.. that normal person that you could met before in life.. I'm no special.. but I could be really special in a way or another..


P.S. It has been a long time since I posted something here, but I felt like sticking to one blog rather than scattering my writings all over the internet