Self heart breaking

Have you ever heard that expression? being heartbroken but with your own hands. It's just you let yourself go on something which was never meant to be, or could ever be imagined, that's just me. I find myself liking someone that I know it's just so wrong, ending up brokenhearted, or more like self- brokenhearted as the other would never think for a minute of such thing, I'm going insane!!