It could be the end

The end of a journey can be felt when there is nothing new in life. The end of a journey could be felt when there is no more joy to felt. You could feel your end when life becomes repetitive and boring, when you keep giving and the return is nothing, when money becomes everything still money can't buy your joy and comfort anymore. It's a killing feeling everything inside is dead, there is no reason to live or be alive. Your dreams is far far away and your opportunities is lacking. All you think of is regret and if you could turn the time to fix so many things, but it's impossible to fix the past for future. I've become so numb that I don't care anymore about anyone..

Deadlines

When you check your wallet, you will find you're stuck with so many deadlines. Your   ID deadline, driving licence deadline, car licence deadline, work ID deadline, credit cards visas Mastercards, bullshit money, rent recipts, shitty exam dead line, deadlines deadlines until you die..

Ruined

* death of her father
* two kids

And she can't stand me..

I'm trying to be supportive but I'm not a good talking kind if guy.. In such situations all you have to do is talk but I'm shit in that. People could write long condolences letters and I couldn't tell a word. I don't look like feeling bad maybe at the beginnings.. Still sometimes my marriage aren't going well lately because we're stuck in two separate islands and each one of us has their own way of comfort..

#Watched Melancholia

Have you ever thought of describing your depression in an artistic way? Well if you're Lars Von Trier then you did it!! To tell you the truth I had to read about the movie before watching it and thank God I did because if you didn't you would feel so confused and lost. The movie portrays a story of two sisters each in two separate parts. Justine in part I is a bride about to get wed in a beautiful house and party all prepared by her sister and brother in-law but throughout the party she seems unimpressed and sad. She's wandering alone and seems missing things, she misses her womanizer dad who she kept asking him to stay but he didn't, she's stressed from work although she's having a great career and she's uninterested with her marriage and by the time she needed her husband to be along with her he left. Even with all the money spent on the party she's not interested. Depression has taken over her life she's numb ,unimpressed and always feeling alone. her sister is not helping at all and always accusing her for letting herself in such condition. the wedding is over and everyone left, leaving the poor bride in more deep "melancholia" 

Part II focuses more on Claire the elder sister. She's a normal mother, trying to take care of her son and husband, who has to be some sort of scientist specialized in constellations and stars movement. Her sister has gotten more deep into depression so she asked her to live with her. She tried to get her out of her melancholia and by the time she was trying her husband was talking about a possible collision which is unlikely between Earth and a planet which is called "Melancholia" Claire started to worry about this incident and she thought maybe it won't be a normal fly-by. Justine told her it won't be a fly-by and there will be a collision although her husband kept telling her that won't happen. The best thing about this part of the movie and total suspense and the reaction of each sister to the incident. Justine seems calm while Claire is terrified. This off course is reflection to Justine's depression were in freight cases depressed people feel very calm. The movie went slowly visualizing the collision until it was over for our poor planet Earth.. 

The movie is undescribable  but all I can say it's more like describing the director's state of depression. if you took the movie as it is you will feel weird, but bearing in mind what it describes it would mean a lot. It's not just a failed wedding part and an exciting Sci-Fi about two planets colliding, it's more like a state of mind visualized into the movie plot giving it a different angle and view to see. of course Lars Von Trier view.

Melancholia (4/5)  

#watched Fifty shades of tits and penises

I don't know from where to start but it seems the Brits taste in literature started to be funny. If you couldn't believe this film adaptation is based on a cheap novel which accidentally become a bestseller in the UK in no time!! A corny storyboard made up by the writer's sexual fantasies with a normal story of a rich and attractive guy having something for bondage having sex with a virgin student where he don't want to fall in love with because he likes spanking more or more likely he hates commitments on the other hand the no longer virgin loved him but doesn't like rough sex but nice and easy where by the end of the movie she realized his fetish for spanking is more amusing for him than her.. but wait there is a sequel for this shithole and I'm sure the movie industry will keep making money from some superficial stories where Tits is the only attraction in the film.. 

RATING: 1/5 (FIFTY SHADES OF GREY) 

THE DEATH THOUGHT

Death becomes a thought when you grow older. Excuse me if you got me wrong I don't mean to be depressing and all, I do mean you will face death several times as you grow older, you will know people who use to be alive and now they're no more. You will miss people you adored and feel sorry for people. You will start giving condolences to friend's families and even to your families friends. Death is following you everywhere and it won't stop. I always think about it but not in a depressing way, I always say I should. If you won't then you won't feel life. If you want to feel life think of death!! As you grow time flies and there will be no turning back for the things you would like to do, so you should always think of the end point, Death, the end of life. Yes. I once thought if I had cancer I would rather spend the money on my last journey instead of treatment. I'd rather spend the rest of my life living rather than trying to extend it for a few years ending up not dying to the end.. It started to sound depressing I know but you could never focus on death without mentioning a negative thing. I always think of having a legacy, I'd rather have a short life with legacy rather than a long life to death. I just remembered this movie staring Bruce Willis and Goldie Hawn "Death becomes her" It talks about that. Being immortal but without a legacy is worst thing ever. Mr death if you could hear me right now, take a note- let me leave a legacy then take me,,,

27 February 2015

What is your biggest dream? Is it money? Love? Stability? Survival? A house? Kids? Pleasing God ? I'd like to have all of them, but you can't! Life is tough to let you have all of them. If you spend more time for money, you might lose God or your loved ones. If you have kids but no money, you will live in distress. If you chose God only you will ignore the world. Things never come together. You could be lucky in love or money or God. It's tough to maintain all of them at once. It's hard to reach the equilibrium; the end of the equation -what I do seek more for regardless of what I want more- that is HAPPINESS.. We manage to acquire it for short term times but never forever. We work hard for it, we acquire it with money, love, God, property, but for how long it lasts? I could do anything for that feeling: "forever happiness"...